Nora Butler – Nurtured Coaching
I remember turning to food for comfort in a hotel room in the UK after I had failed my Masters Thesis. This was the first time in my adult life that I consciously took in food with an intention to harm and punish myself. The voice of my persecutor got to me. It lives in my head with a few other food demon voices. There was a time in my life that I lived without a thought of food in my head. Until my teens I actually was a healthy weight and very active. The onset of puberty was not kind to me and unbeknownst to me I had undiagnosed PCOS.
Fast forward the years, I was married, in full time employment, I had suffered secondary infertility, then miscarriage and a full term neonatal loss. I had a huge failure complex and didn’t want to return to my Youth & Community role as I felt I wasn’t emotionally able to speak about the loss of my son. I fell pregnant during my mat leave and I decided to pursue my deferred Research Masters opportunity in a bid to cure my failure complex.
I also joined Slimming World to get my weight back on track and I found I adored the buzz in the room, the support, the camaraderie and the empathy. I could relate to these people. The relationship with food, the restriction, the cutting out food groups, the stuff I was doing to myself. When I achieved my target weight I applied to become a consultant. After 18 months I was starting to become burned out. I thought I had everything sorted now that I was at target weight. I was very wrong.
I was pushing myself to the limit, packing more and more into each and everyday trying to achieve EVERYTHING. Working two jobs, study, thesis, Family, Train, Eat,
Travel over and back to the UK, Repeat. Once I actively binged in the UK. I thought ah it was a one off I won’t do that again. But of course it didn’t ….. Food started to become more and more intrusive in my thoughts, I found it soothed me when I was stressed, which was a lot of the time. Soon food was my everything. I was bingeing very badly several times a week. It continued for a number of years!! I was out of control. I had the perfect Binge, Restrict regime.
I felt like a fraud running my groups, but I also felt that some of my members may also have this issue. But I was limited in the scope of my role as to how to provide help. I eventually decided to finish up my Youth & Community Role and cut down my work hours to help. I was active in my binge eating for a few years and I decided to study nutritional coaching to see if I could ‘cure myself’ but alas no!! I found a course in America around the psychology of Eating and I got loads from this course and I learned so much more about myself. I still had questions and I went on to study in Binge & Emotional Eating as a specialist and here I found the practical tools to help and support myself and others.
I am Nora, I live well with Binge & Emotional Eating Disorder. I am in the best head space I have been in many many years. I try to live a meaningful and authentic life. I try to be honest and open with others. I try to speak my mind. I have boundaries, I exercise, I meditate. I have many inputs….so that I am no longer considered an active binge eater. I am grateful to get mylife back. I am grateful to no longer be controlled by food. It takes time and effort to get life back on track and it’s continuous. It’s hard to admit you have a problem with food or any addiction I am sure. But by dropping my guard, maybe you can too x .
I want to help others who live with this disorder to find this freedom, so I set up Nurtured Coaching. I still also run my groups, I absolutely love both roles.